“It`s hard to dance with a devil on your back..” when that devil seems to think it`s amusing to trip you up, to make a fool out of you. And whatever your devil may be, it`s a truly vicious thing. Recently I`ve experienced such a devil, to the point where I actually had to push the delete button on some of my social networks, just to ‘shake him off’.
Yes my devil was a person. A very annoying person. One of those people that for the life of you, you just don`t know what it was you`ve done to them. And no, this person`s not the first to have disliked me without me knowing how I`ve caused offense. Though he is the first male to have ever done so *grin*
Now this is the part where I sketch out our ‘sketchy’ relationship, bemoan his existence and basically pose him in such a bad light that by the end of this blog, you`ll agree with my title! But no, I`m not going to do that. That`s not part of this exorcism. This devil won`t get more paragraphs than he`s worth.
I`ve always prided myself on being someone people can relate to. I don`t think I intimidate people (if you knew how short I was you`ll nod your head). I`m opinionated, but know that my opinions aren`t always the beginning and end all of all things. So I`ve learned to shut it, listen, evaluate and then respond. I`m passionate. I can`t really add more to it than that. I`m passionate about the things I care about, people I care about *shrug* It`s just who I am. If I don`t support something a hundred percent, than I just wouldn`t go there. I can be serious, I can be fun, I can be weird, I can be sarcastic, I can be an optimist (though that takes effort), I can be creative, I can be smart, I can be beautiful and sometimes downright mean, but I always apologize. I`m not perfect. I`m complex. You can`t presume to know me after a month, you can`t even know me in a year, impossible to know me after a couple of seasons. People who`ve known me my whole life, can`t even remember the color of my natural hair *laugh*
So how than devil, how than can the little that you`ve seen of me, cause you to start rumors, talk behind my back, make small of things that means so much to me, when you obviously don`t know me…
“And every demon wants his pound of flesh…”
But there`s a valuable lesson here, something I realized when I sat back and thought about this devil on my back, that I don`t want to be like him…I don`t want to be the devil on someone else`s back, cause them grief, make life difficult for them, just because I viewed them as a threat (which in itself would be difficult for me)… I`ll work on being kind and true, I`ll work on compassion and not comparing myself with others, I`ll work on getting to know my authentic –self so that I won`t feel out of place when someone more self-assured comes my way…I`ll work on me, because there`s no reason in this life…this world, to be a devil to someone else.
“I`m done with my graceless heart…So tonight I`m gonna cut it out and then restart…”